Limerick Lore

Is this my blog?

2007-12-08T21:38:00.000-05:00

Its been way too long...I would be surprised to find any readers left! I'll win you over though, don't worry!

History of the Limerick

2007-06-23T21:54:00.000-04:00

...a simple history of limericks...in a limerick. I'll be republishing as verses appear.

The City Behind the Poem

When telling the story of lim'rick,

be sure that you're silly and quick.

To make the poem witty,

lets talk of the city

in Ireland, Munster, and lim'rick.

Not to Worry

2007-05-29T21:58:00.000-04:00

Patience is a virtue, my readers. As of now, I'm writing the history of limericks, in a limerick...and let me tell you, it is NO easy task. I'll publish what I have so far, it is no where near complete...yet.

Without Further Intrerruption...

2007-05-22T23:16:00.000-04:00

I'd like to announce the new name of this blog: Limerick Lore.

thanks for all the support so far.

-J-Man Jeff

Rebirth

2007-05-22T23:08:00.000-04:00

I hope that in my abscense people have stopped checking the blog because they'll be missing out.

As time went on, I realized that the limericks had lost the brilliance and originality that they contained when I first started writing. It saddens me to say that my quest to write one limerick everyday is over; however, thank you everyone who helped me to get to 155 limericks. That should be an accomplishment within itself. Limericks arn't the easiest poems to write correctly, and those who read the blog can say without a shadow of a doubt that, I always tried to make my meter and ryhming as perfect as possible. I've decided to end the daily limerick quest officially, and start a new one. One that should have been the main focus from the beginning: Writing daily about anything related to limericks. That's my resolve from now on.

I hope this isn't a turn off to the many readers I've gained over time and I apologize for making you wait over twenty days without any explanation at all! Finals and many projects took up most of my time; the blog wasn't the main thing on my mind. So, it's safe to come back to reading daily, and, don't worry; the overall quest of becoming a blog of note is still active. It'll take some work though, so, please don't stop the encouraging comments

#151: The Common Cold

2007-05-08T23:59:00.000-04:00

The Common Cold

The woman was feeling quite sick.

She was pale and her face had a tic.

So she stayed in the nether,

feeling under the weather

as the clouds outside turned grey and thick.

#150: Tanning Booths

2007-05-08T23:39:00.000-04:00

A very obscure pun hidden in here. Sorry about the lack of limerick lore..I'm still playing catchup.

Tanning Booths

When staying out long in the sun,

Its better to tan with your son.

‘cause the tanning booths try

to heat you till you fry;

by the way, try to pardon my pun.

#149: The Cutest Kitten

2007-05-07T23:42:00.001-04:00

The Cutest Kitten

There once was a woman from Britain.

In her anger she sat on her kitten.

She soon found a surprise;

The cat looked in her eyes,

Now all over her body she’s bitten.

#148: The Best First Day

2007-05-06T23:33:00.000-04:00

The Best First Day

On Ernie’s first day at the job,

he ate lunch like a primitive slob.

When he wiped off his mouth,

it was covered in louth,

so his napkin got stuck to his gob.

#147: Breaking Wind

2007-05-06T23:21:00.000-04:00

Breaking Wind

There once was a man from New York,

who insisted on not eating pork.

When he does, bad things pass

including his gas,

which is why he will only eat stork.

#146: A True Rnaissance Man

2007-05-06T23:12:00.000-04:00

The irony in this one is very subtle. Let's see if you can pick up on it.

A True Renaissance Man

A renaissance fair man named Mike,

took his anger out using a pike.

In blood they were doused,

in the streets, at the joust,

Michael proved himself to be a tyke.

#145: The Teacher

2007-05-06T23:11:00.000-04:00

The Teacher

There once was a high school professor;

his students call him “the oppressor.”

When he passed out the test,

their hearts stopped in their chest.

So they had to find him a successor.

#144: When a Stranger Calls

2007-04-30T23:01:00.000-04:00

When a Stranger Calls

Her telephone rang in the night.

It gave the young woman a fright.

She picked up the phone,

and heard nothing but tone.

Through the night there was nothing but plight.

#143: An Unexpected Surprise

2007-04-29T21:59:00.001-04:00

An Unexpected Surprise

A mind-reader picked up a gun.

He claimed it was all in good fun.

He pointed at Fred,

and shot him in the head

only water came out of his gun!

#142: An Arm and A Leg

2007-04-28T22:41:00.000-04:00

An Arm and A Leg

At Blackpool one day by the sea,

The mayor sent out a decree.

“To be able to swim,

you must chop off a limb

and without delay send it to me.”

#141: Jove's Laugh

2007-04-27T23:02:00.000-04:00

Jove’s Laugh

As Jupiter laughed with delight,

The two mates split up without contrite.

Just then, from above,

was the god-given dove

that would stop Jove from making them fight.

#140: Six in a Row (cont'd)

2007-04-27T00:04:00.000-04:00

Six in a Row (cont’d)

There is one thing we all know is true,

that the Yanks have the Series in view.

But I hope that the Sox

do not try to make blocks

that will make our great plan go askew.

#139: Six in a Row

2007-04-26T23:59:00.000-04:00

Despite my limerick, I am in fact a Yankee fan. And, I hope that one day I will be able to write a limerick praising the Yankess WINS, not critisizing their defeats.

Six in a Row

The Yankees are down in a slump.

And their rivals are playing the trump.

Like a bee to a midge,

I turned baseball to bridge.

At this rate, the Yanks might as well crump!

#138: Don't Feed the Bears

2007-04-26T23:52:00.000-04:00

Don’t Feed the Bears

The woman was forced to be bare.

Her clothing was torn by a bear.

There’s more to it than that,

For the bear ate her hat

And her sneakers were starting to wear.

#137: The Problem with Kids

2007-04-26T23:50:00.000-04:00

Im sorry for the four-day delay. School is definitly preventing me from posting daily....but, Not to worry. I'll catch up. This limerick isn't the best from a narrative standpoint, but technically, its good.

The Problem with Kids

The light bulb went off in a flash.

The plates hit the floor with a crash.

The noise will abound,

when the kids are around.

And you’re bound to have piles of trash.

#136: Mired in the Mire

2007-04-22T23:05:00.000-04:00

Mired in the Mire

The man’s situation was dire.

He was mired in the murkiest mire.

So without showing shame,

he lit up a flame

He engulfed the quagmire in fire.

#135: Orchestrated Snowfall

2007-04-22T21:57:00.000-04:00

Orchestrated Snowfall

The cellist was fixing his bow.

And preparing himself for the show.

In a cruel twist of fate,

the conductor was late;

he was stuck in a driveway of snow.

#134: Peanut Butter and Jelly

2007-04-20T22:39:00.000-04:00

Peanut Butter and Jelly

A man in the line of a deli,

got a sandwich with p.b and jelly.

But he was not apprise,

of the fatal surprise

that was now being churned in his belly…

#133: Bazaar's Guitar

2007-04-20T21:47:00.000-04:00

Bazaar’s Guitar

An elf by the name of Bazaar

took some lessons and played the guitar.

He struck up some chords;

He won many awards

and became an acclaimed superstar.

#132: Frustrated Felines

2007-04-18T23:18:00.001-04:00

Frustrated Felines

There once was a child named Kate.

Her kittens she’d always berate.

She irked them so much,

that she needed a crutch

after they locked her inside a crate.

#131: Provoked Poles

2007-04-17T21:12:00.000-04:00

IF anyone had any ideas that I can write about (such as the alphhabet idea), don't hesitate to let me know. I'm up for a challenge.

Provoked Poles

A boy that was taking a stroll,

walked too slow and bumped into a pole.

The pole was so mad,

that he picked up the lad

with his hands that were made out of cole.

#130: Orchestra

2007-04-16T23:18:00.000-04:00

Orchestra

The weather makes tuning a string,

a bad or a very good thing.

Try to play around noon

in the hot month of June

and your pegs to your loose strings will cling.

#129: La Clase de Español

2007-04-15T22:23:00.000-04:00

For all you spanish scholars, forgive me. I know that the meter doesnt quite fit in line three with "clase"

La Clase de Español

Español es un clase fácil.

And in no way is it an ordeal.

Cuando voy al clase,

I am met with a fray,

Pero los alumnos son gentil.

#128: English- Their Eyes Were Watching God

2007-04-15T22:13:00.000-04:00

English-Their Eyes Were Watching God

While reading of Janie’s demise,

you’re in for a pleasant surprise.

In the hot Florida heat

Jody faced his defeat,

And he grows old, gets sickly and dies.

#127: Biology

2007-04-13T23:26:00.000-04:00

Biology

Biology’s known to cause pain,

in your skeleton, muscles and brain.

If you want to pass,

take good notes in class

don’t worry, the tests aren’t arcane.

#126: Machiavelli's Prince

2007-04-13T23:09:00.000-04:00

Machiavelli’s Prince

Machiavelli was crying.

The Italian people were dying

for a ruler to fear,

hoping he’d be austere

and stop all of the people from sighing.

#125: A Fatal Mistake

2007-04-13T23:02:00.000-04:00

A Fatal Mistake

A mouse that was running amuck,

crossed a street and got hit by a truck.

Up in heaven he saw

a surprise and a flaw

in himself; he was really a duck.

#124: Don't Play in Thunderstorms

2007-04-10T23:48:00.000-04:00

Don’t Play In Thunderstorms

There once was a young girl from Spain
who loved to play out in the rain.
One day with a jolt,
a mean lightning bolt
fried her clear from her toes to her brain.

#123: The Teacher

2007-04-09T22:35:00.000-04:00

The Teacher

There once was a teacher named Dave,

He never made his class behave.

So, the class took a vote

And put Dave on a boat.

Now David is trapped in a cave.

#122: Shoes

2007-04-09T22:31:00.000-04:00

Shoes

A man with an old busted shoe.

He fixed them with tape and some glue.

When he walked out the house,

He got bit by a louse.

And now this old man has the flu.

#122: Trip to the Zoo

2007-04-07T23:51:00.001-04:00

Trip to the Zoo

The tall man from Kalamazoo

Decided to go to the zoo.

So he flagged down a cab,

He then pulled off his scab.

And gained an addiction to glue.

#121: Baked Beans

2007-04-07T00:15:00.001-04:00

Baked Beans

There once was a girl named Justine.

Who couldn’t stop eating baked beans.

Her dad ate a small mouse,

She ran all through the house.

And now the whole house has been cleaned.

#120: Shattered Glass

2007-04-05T22:25:00.001-04:00

Shattered Glass

If and when a man walks in a store,

make sure that he uses the door.

If he’s angry with brass

and he breaks through the glass

There will be a sharp mess on the floor.

#119: How Embarrassing

2007-04-04T23:11:00.000-04:00

How Embarrassing

If this lim’rick has happened to you,

#118: Wal-Mart

2007-04-03T23:50:00.000-04:00

It looks like I'm back to writing individual limericks again. The stroy worked its way into a corner (no thanks to me :\) If anyone wants to see the story from the beginning and follow all the twists and turns go to post: Royalty.

Wal-Mart

A store that sells many devices,

Must sell them at discounted prices.

With treacherous guile,

They put on a smile.

And sprinkle the shoppers with spices.

#117: The End

2007-04-02T22:29:00.000-04:00

The End

His blood was refusing to clot,

his skin cells were starting to rot.

He looked up at the birds,

as he said his last words

and he passed away right on the spot.

#116: The Sky is Falling

2007-04-01T22:26:00.000-04:00

The Sky is Falling

Something random came out of the blue.

He was hit in the head with a shoe.

When he fell from the plane,

his shoes didn’t remain

on his feet and, they won’t without glue.

#115: Injured, but Not Dead

2007-03-31T23:12:00.000-04:00

Injured, but Not Dead

Well it turns out the man wasn’t dead.

But he had a huge gash on his head.

There were burns on his skin

and a scratch on his shin,

there’s a problem, his blood wasn’t red.

A New way to Comment

2007-03-31T22:26:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone! Hope you're enjoying the limericks. As of now, I've put in a widget that allows you to send me an instant message if I'm online. Think of it as a new way to leave comments for me if I'm online. Hope this is put to good use.

#114: Tainted Soil

2007-03-30T23:42:00.000-04:00

Tainted Soil

The ground was now tainted with blood,

and the man hit the ground with a thud.

When he fell in the dirt

Even boulders felt hurt,

And his blood turned the dirt into mud.

#113: A COmpromise, or Not

2007-03-29T23:57:00.001-04:00

A Compromise, or Not

He was willing to give up the chute,

if the pilot would not point and shoot.

But for him it’s too bad,

That the pilot was mad.

First they shot him, then gave him the boot.

#112: The Winner

2007-03-28T21:59:00.001-04:00

The Winner

The passenger finally won,

his partners were out and outdone.

As he jumped out the plane,

he could feel the disdain

while facing the pilot’s handgun.

#111: Bridge

2007-03-27T22:43:00.001-04:00

Bridge

The jet plane was starting to crump,

so they figured it’s best if they jump.

But last night there was theft,

So there’s only one left.

So they played bridge ‘till one played the trump.

#110: The Parachute

2007-03-26T22:11:00.000-04:00

For all you Shakespeare fans, I wanted to include a famous line from Romeo and Juliet (find it in the last line). Overall the line doesn't make sense, however, I think its ok.

The Parachute

As the plane hurtled out of the sky,

their destruction was ever so nigh.

The suggestion was moot,

Here it is: parachute;

It would help them, the stars to defy.

#109: The Jet (cont'd)

2007-03-25T22:51:00.000-04:00

The Jet (cont’d)

When the plane got up into the air

the pilot was quite unaware;

’cause it finally hit

that the gas tank was whit,

leaving them in a state of despair.

#108: The Jet

2007-03-24T23:15:00.000-04:00

The Jet

The criminals reached an impasse.

Their escape ride had run out of gas!

Well, they weren’t finished yet,

because now there’s a jet

that is turning and making it’s pass.

#107: The Helicopter

2007-03-23T23:26:00.000-04:00

The Helicopter

You might wonder just what the men saw,

to make them have hope and guffaw.

What came out of the sky,

was a chopper to fly

them away. From the cape they’d withdraw.

#106: Salvation

2007-03-22T20:40:00.001-04:00

Salvation

The criminals lost all their hope.

And they sat on the dirt ridden slope.

They looked towards the skies,

Tears came into their eyes

And there wasn’t a reason to mope.

#105: Sabotage

2007-03-22T20:32:00.000-04:00

Sabotage

The men drove away to escape.

In the moonlight they went to the cape.

Their get-away boat,

Ended on a sad note

The men looked at the wreck with a gape.

#104: Rescue!

2007-03-20T23:08:00.000-04:00

Rescue!

When the henchmen walked into the jail,

The cops turned a white shade of pale.

They looked into their eyes

As they met their demise,

Their guns proved to be of no avail.

#103: A Daring Move...

2007-03-19T23:21:00.001-04:00

A Daring Move…

“Sir you’ll see that my mouth is sealed tight.

And be sure that I don’t feel contrite.

If you still haven’t guessed,

I will not take the test.

I assure you, I’m leaving tonight.”

#102: The Breath Test

2007-03-18T22:40:00.001-04:00

The Breath Test

“I’ll assume that your haughty remark,

Proves your bite is no worse than your bark.

Since you’re under arrest,

You will take the breath test

And we’ll see if you’re over the mark.”

#101: Interrogation

2007-03-17T23:25:00.000-04:00

Interrogation

At scene of the blood-ridden crash,

The cop found an interesting stash.

They found alcohol;

They consulted their thrall,

his response was audaciously brash.

#100: Why I'll Never go to ShopRite Again

2007-03-16T23:40:00.000-04:00

A random limerick so i can get away from the story. My internet was down, sorry for the delay!

Why I’ll Never Go to Shop Rite Again

A man in a grocery store,

He threw all his bags on the floor.

He huffed and he puffed,

His demeanor was gruff.

And the cashier just walked out the door.

#99: Jealousy (cont'd)

2007-03-16T23:01:00.000-04:00

Jealousy (cont’d)

Now, for all of you wanting to write,

Expect losers to try and incite.

Your works will be great

And your lyrics ornate;

Your transgressors will writhe with contrite.

#98: Jealousy

2007-03-16T23:00:00.000-04:00

Jealousy

I don’t care if my limericks offend.

But there’s something you must comprehend.

I’ll have to conclude,

That your limericks are crude;

Just remember, I will not amend.

#97: Asleep at the Wheel

2007-03-13T23:39:00.001-04:00

Asleep at the Wheel

The boy was untouched by the flame.

And his father met him with acclaim.

“Please step out of the van,”

Said the tall police man,

“For this accident, you are to blame.

#96: Excuses

2007-03-13T23:29:00.000-04:00

Excuses

Last night my connection was down.

My smile turned into a frown.

I do not wish it well,

DSL raises hell.

Besides, modems look better in brown.

#95: A Mystery

2007-03-11T23:17:00.000-04:00

A Mystery

The father could not understand,

Why the fire got thrown out of hand.

He was shocked even more;

His son opened the door

And proceeded to sit in the sand.

#94: Spring Break

2007-03-10T20:52:00.000-05:00

I hate using double ryhmes, but I had to. Today is the first day of my spring break, so I wrote a limerick to celebrate.

Spring Break

Mary thanks for the honor and glory.

But I’m taking a break from the story.

It is not a mistake,

It’s the first day of break,

So, tomorrow I’ll finish the story.

#93: There's Hope

2007-03-09T23:55:00.001-05:00

There’s Hope

He rummaged through all of the trailer,

He swore like a frustrated sailor.

Well, he looked all around

And he finally found,

What he needed; his sacred inhaler.

#92: The Odds are Against Him...

2007-03-08T23:38:00.001-05:00

The Odds are Against Him…

The boy was burned till he turned black,

And the fire spread over his back.

Someday he will heal,

As of now he can’t feel;

Wait! What if he has an asthma attack?

#91: Close...but No Cigar

2007-03-07T23:26:00.000-05:00

Close…but No Cigar

But alas, he did not get there fast.

And the fire had already passed.

On his neck, chin and shin

And all over his skin,

He was burnt and he sat there aghast.

#90: Bravery

2007-03-06T23:13:00.000-05:00

Bravery

He rushed to his eldest son’s room,

He was trapped in a fiery tomb.

But the father was brave.

He decided to save,

His dear son before he met his doom.

#89: Fire

2007-03-05T23:03:00.000-05:00

Fire

Next the father awoke in a daze,

And his indistinct gaze was in haze.

But alas! He awoke,

At the smell of the smoke

That was razing is house with a blaze!

#88: Nervous

2007-03-04T21:07:00.000-05:00

Nervous

The boy made his father upset,

He started to cry with regret.

The wrath didn’t abate,

His dad was irate

And his child broke into a sweat.

#87: Disrespect

2007-03-03T22:27:00.000-05:00

Disrespect

The boy grew a devilish grin.

And he kicked his dad right in the shin.

So he turned to his son

And he knew that he’d won

He would not get away with this sin.

Limerick Blog- Newsimericks

2007-03-03T13:03:00.000-05:00

I found a site that makes limericks out of current events. Sometimes the metr is off, but overall, the limericcks are of good quality.

My favorit post from theat site: http://newsinlimerick.blogspot.com/2007/02/anna-nicoles-death-some-lessons-learnt.html#links

H/P for the blog: http://newsinlimerick.blogspot.com

Limerick Coming Soon!

#86: Skeptical

2007-03-02T23:16:00.000-05:00

Skeptical

Now I will go back to the story.

I hope that it wasn’t too gory.

Yet, its easy to feel

That your poems don’t appeal

And it seems that your techniques are hoary.

#85: Victory is Mine

2007-03-01T21:49:00.001-05:00

Victory is Mine

Instead I’ve decided to cope,

And to stop sitting ‘round like a dope.

But I won’t take defeat,

This old blog I’ll complete!

I’m so happy, there’s finally hope!

#84: The End

2007-02-28T23:10:00.000-05:00

The End

This blog pushes me to the end.

And I will not pretend to contend

with all of the work

that makes me berserk.

Do you hear me? Do you comprehend?

#83: It Ain't Over Yet

2007-02-27T22:34:00.000-05:00

It Ain’t Over Yet

Well the boy had a trick up his sleeve.

His old man he would trick and deceive.

I’m afraid you’ll forget,

If I tell you just yet

the boy’s plan. So, I hope you don’t grieve.

Not A Limerick: Acknowledgements and Clarification

2007-02-27T19:54:00.000-05:00

Sorry its so long...I have alot to say tonight

So, I'd like to point out that I've been tracking my blogs progress with google analytics. The results are somewhat suprising! In LESS than three days, my blog went from 700 to over 800 unique visitors. Thanks to all that have ever read, commented or VISITED my blog.
Special Acknowledgements go to a select few bloggers that I feel have gone out of their way to, not only read the blog often, but become frequent commenters.

-Mary (of http://mary-marysmusings.blogspot.com/) For frequent comments and suggestions, and from what I read on the OEDILF forums, she has been reading ever since January! Thanks! By far, she is THE most frequent commentor and even gave me the main suggestion for my idea of posting limericks in the form of a story!

-Courtney (for sending the excellent site to me[gotta check em' out!] www.oedilf.com) Her blog is: http://fifer-traeger.blogspot.com/

-Lauren S. (for linking to me, continued comments/ suggestions) Check out her blog as well. http://bamagirlinthecity.blogspot.com

-Editor of OEDILF- Not only a fellow Norwalkian (I think thats correct), but has expressed intrest in the blog and encouraged me to join the team. (I have....btw)

-Robin: In my early stages of stunted limerickal development, this blogger came by with repeated encouraging comments. Thanks! http://creativewritintravel.blogspot.com/

-Margaret- Owner of http://thehatchlingpress.blogspot.com. The poems featured there are good and she has offered comments often. Thanks to you too!

-Prof. R.K Singh- THis man not only provided great comments but, suggested that I try to publish my works elsewhere. I haven't looked for a publisher yet (frankly, I don't know where to start) however, I have entered my writing into several contests. http://rksinghpoet.blogspot.com

Many thanks to the other readers of mine. These readers did something that made them stick out in my mind, wheter its a comment on most limericks or directing me to a place where a larger audience of people can view my poems. Thanks to All!

Now...finally....THE CLARIFICATION!!!
-It's come to my attention via a post on an online forum on www.oedilf.com that my readers think I am older than I actually am. I didn't mean to set off this kind of confusion. :\

-In my profile I said I was a freshman, and that IS true. But not in college. Im still a ninth grader and the fact that my readers think that I was a freshman in college bewilders me and in a weird way, gives me a warm fuzzy feeling all over. Thanks for the fuzzy feeling just wanted to clear it up.

p.s- Mary, although I don't respond to comments on my own blog, the post on the forum has made me think that it's only a common courtesy to respond to my comments. So.....as of today, all comments, I'll try to respond to with a legitimate comment on the commenters blog. :)
Limerick coming soon!!!

#82: The End (For Now)

2007-02-26T20:50:00.000-05:00

The End (For Now)

“Well, I think that’s enough for tonight,

This sad tale makes me writhe with contrite.”

So the man told his son

That the story was done,

He will never reveal the queen’s plight.

#81: Portents Arise

2007-02-25T21:55:00.000-05:00

Over 700 visitors is a pretty good thing! Thanks so far for all the comments, suggestions. Keep em' coming! Thanks

Portents Arise

But as soon as her maid left the room,

Her insane palpitations resumed.

Kate fell on the floor

And crawled towards the door.

A thick gloom in her room signaled doom.

#80: Nervous Breakdown

2007-02-24T18:36:00.000-05:00

Nervous Breakdown

When news of the plague got to Kate,

Her mood went from glad to irate.

She got so upset,

She started to sweat.

But her maid helped and made her sedate.

#79: Another Black Plague?

2007-02-23T23:18:00.001-05:00

Another Black Plague?

Well the stench made the townspeople die,

And their sickness was spreading with spry!

If this infamous plague,

Hits the people in Prague

Then the end of all Europe is nigh!

#78: The Result of Poor Embalming Techniques

2007-02-22T23:26:00.000-05:00

The Result of Poor Embalming Techniques

His body fell out in the street,

And he smelled bad because of the heat.

All the pallbearers died,

And the menservants cried

As they fell down upon the concrete.

#77: Thrones and Groans

2007-02-21T23:19:00.001-05:00

Thrones and Groans

On the next day his niece took the throne.

Her anointing was met with a groan.

And to make matters worse,

The king’s funeral hearse

Crashed and broke on a very large stone.

#76: The Luxuriant Funeral

2007-02-20T22:47:00.000-05:00

The Luxuriant Funeral

Well, his mourners weren’t mourning at all.

They were too busy wrapping his pall.

In death he had planned,

For a funeral grand

That would make other deaths look quite small.

#75: Assasination

2007-02-19T21:34:00.001-05:00

Assasination

His highness awoke with a start,

And he placed his hand over his heart.

A successful attempt,

To kill him with contempt

Was done only with wine and a dart!

#74: The Plan Won't Work

2007-02-18T23:58:00.001-05:00

The Plan Won’t Work

Well Kate disagreed with the scheme

That would make the King held in esteem.

Her rebuttal was this:

“The police don’t exist,

This whole problem is just a bad dream.”

#73: The Plan

2007-02-17T19:18:00.000-05:00

The Plan

The king had a job for his niece.

She would rally the English police.

If she did her job right,

By the end of the night

His torn status would climb and increase.

#72: Exams

2007-02-16T22:41:00.000-05:00

Another detour, my apologies. It's just, I have exams coming up soon, I'm trying to get "in the zone."

Exams

My exams are just four days away.

When they’re over, my thoughts will allay.

But that doesn’t bring hope,

I have reason to mope

Because then I have more tests in May!

#71: Family Reunion

2007-02-15T21:15:00.000-05:00

Ok, the story resumes. it may seem random, but like fine wine, this story takes years to age! Maybe not years, but wait until tommorow.

Family Reunion

As the King’s niece drove to his estate,

Her sedan broke the wall and his gate.

But the King did not care,

Other girls don’t compare

To his niece and sole heir

Within days all will bow down to Kate!

#70: Valentines Day

2007-02-14T23:28:00.000-05:00

Sorry, a temporary break from the story, to commemorate Valentines Day. Its kind of cheesy, I'm not sure I like it.

Valentines Day

Like the sun rises up in the sky,

Lovers laugh and they fight and they cry.

But on Valentine’s Day,

All harsh words drift away

Because Cupid is ever so nigh.

#69: Depression

2007-02-13T23:22:00.000-05:00

Depression

He instantly went back inside,

To the palace where he will reside.

For the rest of his days,

He will sit there and gaze,

His embarrassment will not subside.

#68: That's Disgusting

2007-02-12T21:18:00.001-05:00

That’s Disgusting

Joanne took one look at his gut,

And his toenails his thighs and his butt.

She let out with a cry,

“You’re an old ugly guy!”

And she ran till she got to her hut.

#67: Awkward

2007-02-11T21:47:00.000-05:00

Awkward

When they saw him the citizens ran,

For the king had an all over tan.

The king glanced at the ground,

And he looked all around,

There was one woman left named Joanne.

#66: So, It didn't Really Happen?

2007-02-10T21:20:00.000-05:00

I hope you like the twist I've put on the story! For a second, I thought it was over...

So, It Didn’t Really Happen?

Well the king thought that this was enough.

This new story was violent and rough.

So he put the book down,

And went out into town

He forgot he was still in the buff!

#65: Day 4: Death

2007-02-09T22:06:00.000-05:00

Day 4: Death

By the fourth day the battle was done.

Jacob’s army has finally won!

But their win brought on strife

All the men lost their life,

After all, they used nukes not a gun.

#64: Day 3: Victory...almost

2007-02-08T21:15:00.000-05:00

Day 3: Victory…almost

Jacob knew what he needed to do,

They would fight off the army anew.

So they fired a nuke

That they bought from the Duke

And Fred’s hue turned to purple then blue.

#63: Truth and Reconciliation...or not

2007-02-07T19:16:00.000-05:00

Day 3: Truth and Reconciliation…or not

As Fred’s army lined up on the street,

In the bay sailed his grand royal fleet.

Jacob started to cry,

For he knew they would die

If they fought him and suffered defeat.

#62: Trouble

2007-02-06T11:56:00.000-05:00

Trouble

Then the army of Fred made them pay.

For the loss they had suffered that day.

Once the weapons were gone,

They all hid like a fawn

Now the hunters have turned into prey.

#61: Later that Day

2007-02-06T11:47:00.000-05:00

Later that Day…

Young Jacob’s next move was unwise.

He’s in for a fatal surprise.

On the very same night,

Of the step father’s blight

He forgot to lock up their supplies.