#151: The Common Cold

The Common Cold

The woman was feeling quite sick.

She was pale and her face had a tic.

So she stayed in the nether,

feeling under the weather

as the clouds outside turned grey and thick.

#150: Tanning Booths

A very obscure pun hidden in here. Sorry about the lack of limerick lore..I'm still playing catchup.

Tanning Booths

When staying out long in the sun,

Its better to tan with your son.

‘cause the tanning booths try

to heat you till you fry;

by the way, try to pardon my pun.

#149: The Cutest Kitten

The Cutest Kitten

There once was a woman from Britain.

In her anger she sat on her kitten.

She soon found a surprise;

The cat looked in her eyes,

Now all over her body she’s bitten.

#148: The Best First Day

The Best First Day

On Ernie’s first day at the job,

he ate lunch like a primitive slob.

When he wiped off his mouth,

it was covered in louth,

so his napkin got stuck to his gob.

#147: Breaking Wind

Breaking Wind

There once was a man from New York,

who insisted on not eating pork.

When he does, bad things pass

including his gas,

which is why he will only eat stork.

#146: A True Rnaissance Man

The irony in this one is very subtle. Let's see if you can pick up on it.

A True Renaissance Man

A renaissance fair man named Mike,

took his anger out using a pike.

In blood they were doused,

in the streets, at the joust,

Michael proved himself to be a tyke.

#145: The Teacher

The Teacher

There once was a high school professor;

his students call him “the oppressor.”

When he passed out the test,

their hearts stopped in their chest.

So they had to find him a successor.

#144: When a Stranger Calls

When a Stranger Calls

Her telephone rang in the night.

It gave the young woman a fright.

She picked up the phone,

and heard nothing but tone.

Through the night there was nothing but plight.

#143: An Unexpected Surprise

An Unexpected Surprise

A mind-reader picked up a gun.

He claimed it was all in good fun.

He pointed at Fred,

and shot him in the head

only water came out of his gun!

#142: An Arm and A Leg

An Arm and A Leg

At Blackpool one day by the sea,

The mayor sent out a decree.

“To be able to swim,

you must chop off a limb

and without delay send it to me.”

#141: Jove's Laugh

Jove’s Laugh

As Jupiter laughed with delight,

The two mates split up without contrite.

Just then, from above,

was the god-given dove

that would stop Jove from making them fight.

#140: Six in a Row (cont'd)

Six in a Row (cont’d)

There is one thing we all know is true,

that the Yanks have the Series in view.

But I hope that the Sox

do not try to make blocks

that will make our great plan go askew.

#139: Six in a Row

Despite my limerick, I am in fact a Yankee fan. And, I hope that one day I will be able to write a limerick praising the Yankess WINS, not critisizing their defeats.

Six in a Row

The Yankees are down in a slump.

And their rivals are playing the trump.

Like a bee to a midge,

I turned baseball to bridge.

At this rate, the Yanks might as well crump!

#138: Don't Feed the Bears

Don’t Feed the Bears

The woman was forced to be bare.

Her clothing was torn by a bear.

There’s more to it than that,

For the bear ate her hat

And her sneakers were starting to wear.

#137: The Problem with Kids

Im sorry for the four-day delay. School is definitly preventing me from posting daily....but, Not to worry. I'll catch up. This limerick isn't the best from a narrative standpoint, but technically, its good.

The Problem with Kids

The light bulb went off in a flash.

The plates hit the floor with a crash.

The noise will abound,

when the kids are around.

And you’re bound to have piles of trash.

#136: Mired in the Mire

Mired in the Mire

The man’s situation was dire.

He was mired in the murkiest mire.

So without showing shame,

he lit up a flame

He engulfed the quagmire in fire.

#135: Orchestrated Snowfall

Orchestrated Snowfall

The cellist was fixing his bow.

And preparing himself for the show.

In a cruel twist of fate,

the conductor was late;

he was stuck in a driveway of snow.

#134: Peanut Butter and Jelly

Peanut Butter and Jelly

A man in the line of a deli,

got a sandwich with p.b and jelly.

But he was not apprise,

of the fatal surprise

that was now being churned in his belly…

#133: Bazaar's Guitar

Bazaar’s Guitar

An elf by the name of Bazaar

took some lessons and played the guitar.

He struck up some chords;

He won many awards

and became an acclaimed superstar.

#132: Frustrated Felines

Frustrated Felines

There once was a child named Kate.

Her kittens she’d always berate.

She irked them so much,

that she needed a crutch

after they locked her inside a crate.