Monday, April 30, 2007

#144: When a Stranger Calls

When a Stranger Calls

Her telephone rang in the night.

It gave the young woman a fright.

She picked up the phone,

and heard nothing but tone.

Through the night there was nothing but plight.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

#143: An Unexpected Surprise

An Unexpected Surprise

A mind-reader picked up a gun.

He claimed it was all in good fun.

He pointed at Fred,

and shot him in the head

only water came out of his gun!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

#142: An Arm and A Leg

An Arm and A Leg

At Blackpool one day by the sea,

The mayor sent out a decree.

“To be able to swim,

you must chop off a limb

and without delay send it to me.”

Friday, April 27, 2007

#141: Jove's Laugh

Jove’s Laugh

As Jupiter laughed with delight,

The two mates split up without contrite.

Just then, from above,

was the god-given dove

that would stop Jove from making them fight.

#140: Six in a Row (cont'd)

Six in a Row (cont’d)

There is one thing we all know is true,

that the Yanks have the Series in view.

But I hope that the Sox

do not try to make blocks

that will make our great plan go askew.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

#139: Six in a Row

Despite my limerick, I am in fact a Yankee fan. And, I hope that one day I will be able to write a limerick praising the Yankess WINS, not critisizing their defeats.

Six in a Row

The Yankees are down in a slump.

And their rivals are playing the trump.

Like a bee to a midge,

I turned baseball to bridge.

At this rate, the Yanks might as well crump!

#138: Don't Feed the Bears

Don’t Feed the Bears

The woman was forced to be bare.

Her clothing was torn by a bear.

There’s more to it than that,

For the bear ate her hat

And her sneakers were starting to wear.

#137: The Problem with Kids

Im sorry for the four-day delay. School is definitly preventing me from posting daily....but, Not to worry. I'll catch up. This limerick isn't the best from a narrative standpoint, but technically, its good.

The Problem with Kids

The light bulb went off in a flash.

The plates hit the floor with a crash.

The noise will abound,

when the kids are around.

And you’re bound to have piles of trash.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

#136: Mired in the Mire

Mired in the Mire

The man’s situation was dire.

He was mired in the murkiest mire.

So without showing shame,

he lit up a flame

He engulfed the quagmire in fire.

#135: Orchestrated Snowfall

Orchestrated Snowfall

The cellist was fixing his bow.

And preparing himself for the show.

In a cruel twist of fate,

the conductor was late;

he was stuck in a driveway of snow.

Friday, April 20, 2007

#134: Peanut Butter and Jelly

Peanut Butter and Jelly

A man in the line of a deli,

got a sandwich with p.b and jelly.

But he was not apprise,

of the fatal surprise

that was now being churned in his belly…

#133: Bazaar's Guitar

Bazaar’s Guitar

An elf by the name of Bazaar

took some lessons and played the guitar.

He struck up some chords;

He won many awards

and became an acclaimed superstar.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

#132: Frustrated Felines

Frustrated Felines

There once was a child named Kate.

Her kittens she’d always berate.

She irked them so much,

that she needed a crutch

after they locked her inside a crate.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

#131: Provoked Poles

IF anyone had any ideas that I can write about (such as the alphhabet idea), don't hesitate to let me know. I'm up for a challenge.

Provoked Poles

A boy that was taking a stroll,

walked too slow and bumped into a pole.

The pole was so mad,

that he picked up the lad

with his hands that were made out of cole.

Monday, April 16, 2007

#130: Orchestra


The weather makes tuning a string,

a bad or a very good thing.

Try to play around noon

in the hot month of June

and your pegs to your loose strings will cling.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

#129: La Clase de Español

For all you spanish scholars, forgive me. I know that the meter doesnt quite fit in line three with "clase"

La Clase de Español

Español es un clase fácil.

And in no way is it an ordeal.

Cuando voy al clase,

I am met with a fray,

Pero los alumnos son gentil.

#128: English- Their Eyes Were Watching God

English-Their Eyes Were Watching God

While reading of Janie’s demise,

you’re in for a pleasant surprise.

In the hot Florida heat

Jody faced his defeat,

And he grows old, gets sickly and dies.

Friday, April 13, 2007

#127: Biology


Biology’s known to cause pain,

in your skeleton, muscles and brain.

If you want to pass,

take good notes in class

don’t worry, the tests aren’t arcane.

#126: Machiavelli's Prince

Machiavelli’s Prince

Machiavelli was crying.

The Italian people were dying

for a ruler to fear,

hoping he’d be austere

and stop all of the people from sighing.

#125: A Fatal Mistake

A Fatal Mistake

A mouse that was running amuck,

crossed a street and got hit by a truck.

Up in heaven he saw

a surprise and a flaw

in himself; he was really a duck.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

#124: Don't Play in Thunderstorms

Don’t Play In Thunderstorms

There once was a young girl from Spain
who loved to play out in the rain.
One day with a jolt,
a mean lightning bolt
fried her clear from her toes to her brain.

Monday, April 09, 2007

#123: The Teacher

The Teacher

There once was a teacher named Dave,

He never made his class behave.

So, the class took a vote

And put Dave on a boat.

Now David is trapped in a cave.

#122: Shoes


A man with an old busted shoe.

He fixed them with tape and some glue.

When he walked out the house,

He got bit by a louse.

And now this old man has the flu.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

#122: Trip to the Zoo

Trip to the Zoo

The tall man from Kalamazoo

Decided to go to the zoo.

So he flagged down a cab,

He then pulled off his scab.

And gained an addiction to glue.

#121: Baked Beans

Baked Beans

There once was a girl named Justine.

Who couldn’t stop eating baked beans.

Her dad ate a small mouse,

She ran all through the house.

And now the whole house has been cleaned.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

#120: Shattered Glass

Shattered Glass

If and when a man walks in a store,

make sure that he uses the door.

If he’s angry with brass

and he breaks through the glass

There will be a sharp mess on the floor.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

#119: How Embarrassing

How Embarrassing

If this lim’rick has happened to you,

leave a comment with ten words or two.

As you walk down the street,

someone waves and you greet

them, but you aren’t the ones in their view.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

#118: Wal-Mart

It looks like I'm back to writing individual limericks again. The stroy worked its way into a corner (no thanks to me :\) If anyone wants to see the story from the beginning and follow all the twists and turns go to post: Royalty.

A store that sells many devices,

Must sell them at discounted prices.

With treacherous guile,

They put on a smile.

And sprinkle the shoppers with spices.

Monday, April 02, 2007

#117: The End

The End

His blood was refusing to clot,

his skin cells were starting to rot.

He looked up at the birds,

as he said his last words

and he passed away right on the spot.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

#116: The Sky is Falling

The Sky is Falling

Something random came out of the blue.

He was hit in the head with a shoe.

When he fell from the plane,

his shoes didn’t remain

on his feet and, they won’t without glue.