Saturday, December 08, 2007

Is this my blog?

Its been way too long...I would be surprised to find any readers left! I'll win you over though, don't worry!

Saturday, June 23, 2007

History of the Limerick

...a simple history of a limerick. I'll be republishing as verses appear.

The City Behind the Poem
When telling the story of lim'rick,
be sure that you're silly and quick.
To make the poem witty,
lets talk of the city
in Ireland, Munster, and lim'rick.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Not to Worry

Patience is a virtue, my readers. As of now, I'm writing the history of limericks, in a limerick...and let me tell you, it is NO easy task. I'll publish what I have so far, it is no where near complete...yet.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Without Further Intrerruption...

I'd like to announce the new name of this blog: Limerick Lore.

thanks for all the support so far.

-J-Man Jeff


I hope that in my abscense people have stopped checking the blog because they'll be missing out.

As time went on, I realized that the limericks had lost the brilliance and originality that they contained when I first started writing. It saddens me to say that my quest to write one limerick everyday is over; however, thank you everyone who helped me to get to 155 limericks. That should be an accomplishment within itself. Limericks arn't the easiest poems to write correctly, and those who read the blog can say without a shadow of a doubt that, I always tried to make my meter and ryhming as perfect as possible. I've decided to end the daily limerick quest officially, and start a new one. One that should have been the main focus from the beginning: Writing daily about anything related to limericks. That's my resolve from now on.

I hope this isn't a turn off to the many readers I've gained over time and I apologize for making you wait over twenty days without any explanation at all! Finals and many projects took up most of my time; the blog wasn't the main thing on my mind. So, it's safe to come back to reading daily, and, don't worry; the overall quest of becoming a blog of note is still active. It'll take some work though, so, please don't stop the encouraging comments

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

#151: The Common Cold

The Common Cold

The woman was feeling quite sick.

She was pale and her face had a tic.

So she stayed in the nether,

feeling under the weather

as the clouds outside turned grey and thick.

#150: Tanning Booths

A very obscure pun hidden in here. Sorry about the lack of limerick lore..I'm still playing catchup.
Tanning Booths

When staying out long in the sun,

Its better to tan with your son.

‘cause the tanning booths try

to heat you till you fry;

by the way, try to pardon my pun.

Monday, May 07, 2007

#149: The Cutest Kitten

The Cutest Kitten

There once was a woman from Britain.

In her anger she sat on her kitten.

She soon found a surprise;

The cat looked in her eyes,

Now all over her body she’s bitten.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

#148: The Best First Day

The Best First Day

On Ernie’s first day at the job,

he ate lunch like a primitive slob.

When he wiped off his mouth,

it was covered in louth,

so his napkin got stuck to his gob.

#147: Breaking Wind

Breaking Wind

There once was a man from New York,

who insisted on not eating pork.

When he does, bad things pass

including his gas,

which is why he will only eat stork.

#146: A True Rnaissance Man

The irony in this one is very subtle. Let's see if you can pick up on it.

A True Renaissance Man

A renaissance fair man named Mike,

took his anger out using a pike.

In blood they were doused,

in the streets, at the joust,

Michael proved himself to be a tyke.

#145: The Teacher

The Teacher

There once was a high school professor;

his students call him “the oppressor.”

When he passed out the test,

their hearts stopped in their chest.

So they had to find him a successor.

Monday, April 30, 2007

#144: When a Stranger Calls

When a Stranger Calls

Her telephone rang in the night.

It gave the young woman a fright.

She picked up the phone,

and heard nothing but tone.

Through the night there was nothing but plight.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

#143: An Unexpected Surprise

An Unexpected Surprise

A mind-reader picked up a gun.

He claimed it was all in good fun.

He pointed at Fred,

and shot him in the head

only water came out of his gun!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

#142: An Arm and A Leg

An Arm and A Leg

At Blackpool one day by the sea,

The mayor sent out a decree.

“To be able to swim,

you must chop off a limb

and without delay send it to me.”

Friday, April 27, 2007

#141: Jove's Laugh

Jove’s Laugh

As Jupiter laughed with delight,

The two mates split up without contrite.

Just then, from above,

was the god-given dove

that would stop Jove from making them fight.

#140: Six in a Row (cont'd)

Six in a Row (cont’d)

There is one thing we all know is true,

that the Yanks have the Series in view.

But I hope that the Sox

do not try to make blocks

that will make our great plan go askew.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

#139: Six in a Row

Despite my limerick, I am in fact a Yankee fan. And, I hope that one day I will be able to write a limerick praising the Yankess WINS, not critisizing their defeats.

Six in a Row

The Yankees are down in a slump.

And their rivals are playing the trump.

Like a bee to a midge,

I turned baseball to bridge.

At this rate, the Yanks might as well crump!

#138: Don't Feed the Bears

Don’t Feed the Bears

The woman was forced to be bare.

Her clothing was torn by a bear.

There’s more to it than that,

For the bear ate her hat

And her sneakers were starting to wear.

#137: The Problem with Kids

Im sorry for the four-day delay. School is definitly preventing me from posting daily....but, Not to worry. I'll catch up. This limerick isn't the best from a narrative standpoint, but technically, its good.

The Problem with Kids

The light bulb went off in a flash.

The plates hit the floor with a crash.

The noise will abound,

when the kids are around.

And you’re bound to have piles of trash.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

#136: Mired in the Mire

Mired in the Mire

The man’s situation was dire.

He was mired in the murkiest mire.

So without showing shame,

he lit up a flame

He engulfed the quagmire in fire.

#135: Orchestrated Snowfall

Orchestrated Snowfall

The cellist was fixing his bow.

And preparing himself for the show.

In a cruel twist of fate,

the conductor was late;

he was stuck in a driveway of snow.

Friday, April 20, 2007

#134: Peanut Butter and Jelly

Peanut Butter and Jelly

A man in the line of a deli,

got a sandwich with p.b and jelly.

But he was not apprise,

of the fatal surprise

that was now being churned in his belly…

#133: Bazaar's Guitar

Bazaar’s Guitar

An elf by the name of Bazaar

took some lessons and played the guitar.

He struck up some chords;

He won many awards

and became an acclaimed superstar.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

#132: Frustrated Felines

Frustrated Felines

There once was a child named Kate.

Her kittens she’d always berate.

She irked them so much,

that she needed a crutch

after they locked her inside a crate.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

#131: Provoked Poles

IF anyone had any ideas that I can write about (such as the alphhabet idea), don't hesitate to let me know. I'm up for a challenge.

Provoked Poles

A boy that was taking a stroll,

walked too slow and bumped into a pole.

The pole was so mad,

that he picked up the lad

with his hands that were made out of cole.

Monday, April 16, 2007

#130: Orchestra


The weather makes tuning a string,

a bad or a very good thing.

Try to play around noon

in the hot month of June

and your pegs to your loose strings will cling.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

#129: La Clase de Español

For all you spanish scholars, forgive me. I know that the meter doesnt quite fit in line three with "clase"

La Clase de Español

Español es un clase fácil.

And in no way is it an ordeal.

Cuando voy al clase,

I am met with a fray,

Pero los alumnos son gentil.

#128: English- Their Eyes Were Watching God

English-Their Eyes Were Watching God

While reading of Janie’s demise,

you’re in for a pleasant surprise.

In the hot Florida heat

Jody faced his defeat,

And he grows old, gets sickly and dies.

Friday, April 13, 2007

#127: Biology


Biology’s known to cause pain,

in your skeleton, muscles and brain.

If you want to pass,

take good notes in class

don’t worry, the tests aren’t arcane.

#126: Machiavelli's Prince

Machiavelli’s Prince

Machiavelli was crying.

The Italian people were dying

for a ruler to fear,

hoping he’d be austere

and stop all of the people from sighing.

#125: A Fatal Mistake

A Fatal Mistake

A mouse that was running amuck,

crossed a street and got hit by a truck.

Up in heaven he saw

a surprise and a flaw

in himself; he was really a duck.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

#124: Don't Play in Thunderstorms

Don’t Play In Thunderstorms

There once was a young girl from Spain
who loved to play out in the rain.
One day with a jolt,
a mean lightning bolt
fried her clear from her toes to her brain.