Happy New Year!
Tonight marks a happy new year.
And the start of old Janus’ career.
As he looks back and forth,
From the south to the north,
All the people of earth start to cheer!
A toddler was eating some bread.
But wanted to hurt things instead.
So he said to his mom,
“You’ll go down like Saddam
If you don’t do the things that I’ve said.”
Well the mom thought that this was absurd.
And she screamed really loud, “Oh My Word!”
For her three year old son,
Had just pulled out a gun,
And was shooting the cat and the bird.
In a place where the sun does not rise,
You’re in store for a surreal surprise.
For on dark sunless days,
There are endless delays
Because people just sit there and cry.
The Spanish Chef
There once was a chef in
His cake was the shape of a swan.
But while making the cake,
He had made a mistake,
And his wife had a child named Juan.
sorry its late...i take back the 10 PM deadline....its hard to fit into my schedule. By the way, this limerick is dedicated to all the cluless parents out there (you know who u are) and the kids that live with them.
A princess that lived on the coast,
Had parents as dumb as a post.
When the jester told jokes,
The princess’ folks,
Just laughed and ate cinnamon toast.
There was a young bride getting dressed.
She looked just as well as the rest.
She drank her perfume,
And her father presumed
That perfume would be hard to digest.
In a town known as
All the people were standing askew.
When a tourist asked why,
They gave a reply,
“We are not standing crooked it’s you!"
The holiday concert was grand,
The orchestra played with the band.
Our orchestra’s great,
But there is a debate,
As to whether the band sounded bland!
Sorry its late. For all of you that read the blog, I will have limericks posted no later than 10:00 PM (US, Eastern Time)
The Real Revolutionary War
George Washington wrote a decree,
That the people should not drink the tea.
King George got upset,
And he started to sweat.
As George Washington looked on with glee.
Not So Jolly Christmas
It’s Christmas two thousand and six,
Kris Kringle is up to old tricks.
He plows through the snow,
But when Rudolph is slow…
…St. Nicolas beats him with bricks.
A woman who lived in
Was washing her hair with shampoo.
Her hair all fell out,
She started to pout.
And decided to fix it with glue.