Sunday, December 31, 2006

#25: Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

Tonight marks a happy new year.

And the start of old Janus’ career.

As he looks back and forth,

From the south to the north,

All the people of earth start to cheer!

Saturday, December 30, 2006

#24: Wild Child

I hope no one is offended by my brief mention to Saddam and his execution...it was all i could think of that would rhyme with mom and still make sense in the poem.

Wild Child

A toddler was eating some bread.

But wanted to hurt things instead.

So he said to his mom,

“You’ll go down like Saddam

If you don’t do the things that I’ve said.”


Well the mom thought that this was absurd.

And she screamed really loud, “Oh My Word!”

For her three year old son,

Had just pulled out a gun,

And was shooting the cat and the bird.

Friday, December 29, 2006

#23: Injured Tibetan Cats

Injured Tibetan Cats

There once was a man from Tibet.

He was taking his cat to the vet.

For his cat took a fall,

And got caught in a squall,

He was hurt and the storm got him wet.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

#22: The Hermit and the Peach

The Hermit and the Peach

The hermit that lived on the beach.

Was eating a yellowish peach.

When the man took a bite,

His face turned pale white,

And they likened the color to bleach.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

#21: Nonsense #1

sorry its not that good...and not all that nonsense

Nonsense #1

A snicker a snackle a snoodle,

A greyhound a kitten a poodle.

An orange and a rat

A bird and a cat,

An egg and a strawberry strudel.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

#20: Life on the Farm

Life in The Farm

As soon as the sun starts to shine,

The pigs on the farm start to dine.

But when food isn’t there,

Then the farm’s in despair,

And the farmers do nothing but whine.

Monday, December 25, 2006

#19: A Rock Star

A Rock Star

A man in a musical group,

Was buying a basketball hoop.

But he had no more cash

His reaction was brash,

So he settled on eating a drupe.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

#18: More Santa Scandals

More Santa Scandals

Kris Kringle was up in the sky,

But his team of sleigh pullers was spry.

So he took out his whip,

And the sled did a flip,

As St. Nicolas chuckled with wry.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

#17: Importance of the Flu Vaccine

Importance of the Flu Vaccine

There once was a man from Nepal.

He decided to go the mall.

Then out of the blue,

He came down with the flu.

And stayed home in bed wrapped in a pall.

Friday, December 22, 2006

#16: Not a True Story

Not a True Story

I’ve set up a top secret stash.

That’s where I keep most of my cash.

It is not in a shed,

And not under my bed.

But somehow the thief found my cache.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

#15: Safe Driving

Safe Driving

When driving at night on the road,

Be sure to go to your abode.

At night there is peril,

And the muggers are feral.

If you don’t then your car might implode.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

#14: How to Win A Board Game

How to Win a Board Game

When playing a game such as chess,

Be sure to make moves with success.

Because if you do not,

In a trap you’ll get caught.

And you’ll keep losing games in excess.

#13: Sunless Utopia

sorry iys late...technically, i wrote the poem earlier in the day, i just forgot to upload it to the blog.
Sunless Utopia

In a place where the sun does not rise,

You’re in store for a surreal surprise.

For on dark sunless days,

There are endless delays

Because people just sit there and cry.

Monday, December 18, 2006

#12: Flying Teddy Bear

Flying Teddy Bear

A girl with a little toy bear

Was eating a snack in a chair.

Then she dropped to the floor

And destroyed the d├ęcor.

As the teddy bear flew through the air.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

#11: Sunrise

Sunrise

A lion was eating a pie.

He suddenly let out a cry.

For his pie was all gone,

And he let out a yawn.

As the sun rose up into the sky.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

#10: The Spanish Chef

Its random, and its alittle silly, but, it is all I could come up with.

The Spanish Chef

There once was a chef in Milan.

His cake was the shape of a swan.

But while making the cake,

He had made a mistake,

And his wife had a child named Juan.

Friday, December 15, 2006

#9: Parents

sorry its late...i take back the 10 PM deadline....its hard to fit into my schedule. By the way, this limerick is dedicated to all the cluless parents out there (you know who u are) and the kids that live with them.

Parents

A princess that lived on the coast,

Had parents as dumb as a post.

When the jester told jokes,

The princess’ folks,

Just laughed and ate cinnamon toast.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

#8: The Kinds of Brides You Don't Want

This is the one week anniversary of the blog. This poem is my seventh, I only need 358 more! Keep the comments and suggestions coming!

The Kind of Brides You Don’t Want

There was a young bride getting dressed.

She looked just as well as the rest.

She drank her perfume,

And her father presumed

That perfume would be hard to digest.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

#7: Kalamazoo

Not only is it random, but its impossible to get a good title. I'm open to any suggestions.

Kalamazoo

In a town known as Kalamazoo,

All the people were standing askew.

When a tourist asked why,

They gave a reply,

“We are not standing crooked it’s you!"

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

#6: Holiday Concert 2006

A fitting limerick to commemorate the GFA chamber orchesta's marvelous performance tonight. We did great!

Holiday Concert 2006

The holiday concert was grand,

The orchestra played with the band.

Our orchestra’s great,

But there is a debate,

As to whether the band sounded bland!

Monday, December 11, 2006

#5: The Real Revolutionary War

Sorry its late. For all of you that read the blog, I will have limericks posted no later than 10:00 PM (US, Eastern Time)

The Real Revolutionary War

George Washington wrote a decree,

That the people should not drink the tea.

King George got upset,

And he started to sweat.

As George Washington looked on with glee.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

#4: Not So Jolly Christmas

Theres a scandal going on at the north pole. Not all is jolly.

Not So Jolly Christmas

It’s Christmas two thousand and six,

Kris Kringle is up to old tricks.

He plows through the snow,

But when Rudolph is slow…

…St. Nicolas beats him with bricks.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

#3: The Animal Kingdom

The Animal Kingdom

A goose drinking juice told a moose,

His behavior was very obtuse.

The moose took offense,

His wrath was intense.

And the moose tied the goose to a spruce.

Friday, December 08, 2006

#2: Limericks

Ha...a limerick about limericks...what a joke!

Limericks

My blog about limericks is grand.

The limericks are in high demand.

I write them with ease,

I have expertise.

And the critics do not understand.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

#1: Peruvian Shower

My first limerick to the blog...364 to go!!...btw, thanks to the person that helped me edit this!

Peruvian Shower

A woman who lived in Peru,

Was washing her hair with shampoo.

Her hair all fell out,

She started to pout.

And decided to fix it with glue.

A Limerick A Day

well, it will keep the doctor away. I'm not only doing this to improve my skills with limeicks, but they're fun to read too. So...Enjoy. My goal is too write one limerick everyday. Maybe for a month, maybe longer.